silence spoken here

I just took a retreat to the Abbey of Gethsemani this past weekend, an experience I am now recommending for everyone. I did a lot of journaling and I thought I would post some of it here. I'll probably spread it out over several posts though. Here is the first....


see more pictures here

I have set a side a good part of Saturday to go hiking and wandering the forest and fields surrounding the abbey. I've never hiked by myself and it sounds like a great way to spend part of a silent retreat. When they gave me the map with the paths and points of interests on it, they said it wasn't very good. I am a lover of maps, John affectionately calls me "map nazi" and I realize very quickly they are right about this one, it's terrible.
It is a gorgeous sunny January day and I have all the time in the world to explore. I've brought my camera, journal, sketch book, water and an apple and I am ready for adventure. I quickly find the statues representing the Garden of Gethsemani, the most common destination on their grounds, and decide to explore further into the acres of woods. It is calling me.
As I study the map I see something marked "stone house" that looks like a worthy destination and decide to try to find that. Soon I am walking around turning the map upside down, sideways, trying to make heads or tails. I can't find any path that takes me into the woods. I backtrack. I jump a creek. I get frustrated. I am thinking this is going on the evaluation card for the retreat place. They need better maps!
And then I heard it; "Why are you so concerned with the destination?"
I understand immediately, this comment is not really about my irritation with the map, but about my frustration with life recently. I'm searching in vain for the "right" path and by "right" I mean the one I think I should be on. I am mad because I've chosen a destination and the path isn't clear right now. I find myself asking God how to deal with the disappointment of not getting to the place I think I should be.
What God is really trying to tell me is to forget about the destination, enjoy where I am right now, take in the beautiful day, the breathtaking landscape. The opportunities are endless and I can go anywhere and explore everything and find His joy in all of it!
Suddenly I see a path into the woods is ahead of me and I know this is exactly where He wants me right now and it doesn't really matter where it takes me.