I am what I am

I am a writer.

Okay, I was just trying that on for size. I feel so pretentious when I say that out loud, so I usually say something more tame like "I like to write" or "My undergrad is in English." And I think that other people think it is pretentious as well. The other night, as I was talking to some people in my neighborhood, they asked me what I wanted to do with my graduate degree (Slavic and East European studies/starting the program in September). I contemplated saying the same well-rehearsed, acceptable thing I always say, which is "I will probably work with an NGO that addresses women's issues in the Balkans." Instead I took a risk. I did a little experiment. With a little laugh, I said, "What I really want to do is spend my time in grad school learning the language and then move to the Balkans and write." They looked at me and said, "That sounds like an ideal life, doesn't it." I'm sure I sensed a bit of sarcasm in their voice, but it could have just been me being super sensitive. Either way, I immediately "qualified" myself and my statement by saying that I had no delusions and knew that that would never happened... that what I'd probably do for a real job was work with an NGO that addresses...

But I think I'd like to get used to calling myself what I am.